Woods

 Sitting in the car before work I felt the anxiety rising.  I took a few breaths and told myself that it was okay, it is perfectly natural to feel anxiety about going into school during a pandemic.  I also told myself to focus on the students.  These two things helped.  Not right away, I had to remind myself a few times.  The work day did get a little better.  

My afternoon walk took me to a conservation area in town.  This time I wasn't listening to a book and explored a bit farther into the woods.  The warm breezy weather brought joy to me with the fresh air.  I walked through areas shaded by evergreens and areas where the sun came in speckled through the deciduous trees.  There were areas that the forest was old with large thick trees, and areas where the trees were thin and young.  Turning leaves added color to trail.  This is my happy for the day along with:

• Getting into a groove with students today.  I'm hoping to get some kind of connection with at least some of the students in case we go to remote learning.
• I walked three miles.
• Stopping to take pictures and notice things.
• Imagining that maybe someday parts of the home property could have some paths that wind among trees in a similar way.
• Stonewalls.
• Without prompting or complaint Gideon, at eight years old, took the trash out tonight.
• Some of the pictures I took with my phone came out better than I thought they would.  
• The only good thing I can think of from the drought---less mosquitos.  
• On Saturday I will be taking part in the Out of the Darkness Walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  Some of my friends and family have made donations and I am so very thankful for their support to this cause.  This year the walk is sort of virtual.  Or team is getting together to walk in a neighborhood rather than everyone gathering in a large group to do this.
• Inspiration.

☮

Stay safe.

Scrabble

This afternoon my work friend and I went for a walk.  We both had steam to blow off and then had quite the nice walk.  At the end I asked her to come up with something positive about the day.  She had something right away, it took me a little longer.  It is good to have people at work who are able to find the positive things to see.  It is something I should try harder to obtain.  

The trail she found took us through mostly wooded areas.  We crossed over some bridges that implied there was once water to cross.  There is a drought now, so these small streams were dry.  There was a good sized swamp though.  This particular area was placed between private properties and there were the occasional no trespassing signs.  This walk is a happy for today; other happy things include:

• With help, I helped a student download a program that we are using in class.  This was my positive thing.  I ended up having to download the same program to my work chromebook soon after so it was repeated and now hopefully learned.
• My friend saw something that looked sort of like a grape along the walk.  I'm fairly certain that it was an oak gall, but I'm not positive.  A few weeks ago K was looking for some to make ink with.  They need to have fallen off the tree first so the one today was not ready.
• Gideon and I have been playing a game of Scabble and we finished it today.  He beat me.  Now I can't say that he had no help at all, but he had very little help.  I tried to teach him some strategies and helped him find places to put words on occasion.  We used a Scrabble dictionary because learning is important.  It was a tough game with how the board ended up being arranged and how the letters came out of the bag.  

Possible oak gall.

The gameboard.

Score sheet.

☮

Stay safe.

Camera

 When I got home from work I found a camera, not mine, on my bed.  K and Z found their Canon EOS Rebel T2i and are letting me borrow it.  It is an older digital camera.  I am loving the ability to focus and optical zoom.  It is a different experience than with my cell phone.  It has been a long time since I had a camera with optical zoom and manual focus and I had a lot of fun practicing with it out back on the property.  I can't decide how well I like the pictures, but that is most likely the user.  This camera use is my happy of the day.  Other things that make that list for today are:

• The way the last night's frost seemed to pick and choose different plants to shrivel and other seem untouched.  The jewel weed on one side of the path looks devastated and that on the other just a little dry.  The same with some of the wild lettuce; some is dried and dead looking and others are fine.
• Popcorn for a snack tonight.  I tend to forget about popcorn, it was just what I needed tonight.
• Apple cider, it is that time of year.
• There are trees starting to grow from/around many of the stumps that were left when the area was cut down last year.

First couple of pictures are from my phone, the rest the camera.

The tomatoes were hit hard by the frost.

This row of trees will be colorful soon.

From the camera...

☮

Stay safe.

Views

 Today was not as productive as yesterday.  Things got done, and resting got done too.  I worked at sorting through things from storage, shopping, the shower, and some things in the yard.  I played some video games and more Scrabble with Gideon.  The whole family took a walk around the property.  It was a good day.  Here are things I am happy for today:

• Sleeping in.
• Doughnuts.
• Clean sheets, warm from the dryer.
• Noticing the way the temperature sometimes changes when I walk to one side on the property.  It is almost like I cross over from one temperature zone to another just by taking a left instead of a right.  I guess I kind of am... the ecology- trees and landscape are different one way versus the other.
• There was a little child, maybe three, in Lowes today.  He (?) was wearing a mask.  I looked at him and waved and smiled.  There is so much expression that can come out from just seeing someone's eyes.
• I repotted the rest of the petunias that I started from seed a few weeks ago.  I'm going to attempt to keep them in the house over the winter.  They require a lot of sun that may be hard to come by as the season changes.
• Walking with everyone on the property was special.  We don't do that very often.  Some of the trees that were cut down last summer seem to be growing again.  They have branches that are coming up new trying to survive.
• All the pictures from the walk today.  They encompass different plants, changing plants, and wonderful people.                         

☮

Stay safe.

Work All Day

 It was a heavy to-do list I gave myself this morning.  I decided to put an amount of time on each item and tried to stick to it as much as possible.  Looking over the list I only took two of the three 15 minute breaks I planned out.  I did stop to eat and I included taking a walk.  There is a freeze warning for tomorrow night so Gideon and I picked anything in the garden that was close to ready, there wasn't much.  There are some green tomatoes that may or may not get picked tomorrow.  

Happy things for today:

• I worked for around two hours sorting through stuff from storage and going through boxes.
• I found a newspaper from July 4, 1976.
• K and Gideon went on the walk with me.
• One of the things I put on my list was to play Scrabble with Gideon for thirty minutes.  That was fun.  The game is still on the table to finish another time.
• Happy birthday to Z!  He and K had a morning date and then he spent the day with a friend.
• I finally made the time to remove more of the caulking from the shower. I may need to pick up a chemical to help remove the rest tomorrow, it just doesn't want to let go.
• One of the other things I found when going through boxes was the order of play for a card game called Agony.  It was a game I used to play with my mom and other family members.
•  We found a little felt project that K made for me when she was quite young.  On it I was the world's greatest mom.  Upon seeing this today she told me that I should hang on to it, after all, the only way to get something like that today is through nepotism.

Out on our walk.

Tree changing color.

Tree of many colors.  😉

☮

Keep your distance.

Finally Friday

 This weekend I will strive to be productive and not put off the things that I have been avoiding doing.  Hahaha!!!  We'll see.  There has been enough stress lately that doing things that I have been putting off should help reduce some of that anxiety.  Today's happy things:

• A coworker and I had to walk to another school building for training today.  This was an added stressor.  I took a few minutes and took a picture of a tree that has started to change color.  This helped me to recenter and enter the building for the class.
• When I got home I went for a walk right away.  I had an audobook that was due today and I wanted to finish it since it couldn't be renewed.  I finished the book an hour before the book would have been erased from my phone.
• I chose to go into the conservation area down the road on my walk.  This was my first time in there.  I didn't stay very long because I was listening to the book and that was distracting me from the woods.  There are a few paths and I didn't want to get misplaced.

Stress reducing tree.

☮

Stay safe.

Tomorrow is FRIDAY!

Work is stressful.  After work, a shower, and rest I helped Z obtain some computers.  Loading up computers helped me get some steps in, so did jogging in place after dinner.  My tired mind is having a hard time focusing and so here come some happy things:

• Chats with Z about life.
• Gideon questions which this evening involve light waves and electromagnetic waves!
• Tetris-ing about 30 computers into the back of the van.
• Learning the possible meaning of the word uncanoonuc, as in Uncanoonuc Mountians.
• Gideon snuggles and giggles and laughter at expanding this text as I type.

The picture quality is poor, but there are colors in the leaves.

☮

Stay safe.

Small Steps

 It would have been very easy to just rest after work today.  I did, for a little bit.  After dinner I went out for a walk and made myself get the rest of my step goal.  I continued to walk after I met the goal to total over 12,000 steps.  This makes day 35 of my streak.  There is my first happy for today.  Others include:

• Corn bread drizzled with honey.
• The sheep shenanigans are moving along.
• Gideon and I attempted science after work today.  Unfortunately, I didn't have all the right stuff and my substitutes were no substitute.  Maybe we will try again another time.
• The refreshing, cool air on tonight's walk.
• The little bits of color that are starting on the leaves that are whispering, "Autumn." 

I did a no-no and snapped this shot on the higway this morning.

The sun is rising through the smoke haze from the terrible fires on the west coast,

3000 miles away.

☮

Wear your mask.

Future

 The language arts teacher put a question of the board today for the students to do a quick-write to.  The question was something like... in 50 years what will you remember most about the summer of 2020.  My first thought was that I would be 105 year's old in 50 years.  Then, of course, covid.  As the teacher spoke he made it clear that it didn't have to be related to the pandemic.  For me, my summer was formed because of covid.  There is no doubt in my mind that I would have been able to invest much time, if any, in the garden.  Since the Texas family wouldn't have come north, the garden may have just been put off until next year.  Had I decided to go to Texas this summer, it wouldn't have been to pack up C and E, it would have been for a visit and probably would have included a few tourist things.  Most of my weekends would have been spent doing things with the SCA.  

All that said, will this blog still be around in 50 years that my progeny will be able to look back and read what it was like for us?  Am I doing a disservce by holding back on some of the bad stuff?  Well, for me to remain sane and to help fight my own depression, I will continue to focus more on my own coping mechanisms and finding the things that make me happy and grateful.  When times are tough, for whatever reason, focusing on things that are positive may not fix it all, but can help to ride the wave.

On to happy things for today!

• This morning's view of the moon and venus (different from yesterday).
• I think I am going to like language arts class, too bad I am not taking it!  hahaha.
• After work, I had a nice walk with a friend from work.  There was some therapeutic work venting as well as good conversation.
• The family had a fairly serious conversation that I can't discuss online right now but, I think it will will be a good thing.
• Another thing that I can't really discuss online... but sheep shenanigans are happening.
• Planning out walks with other friends.

The moon is to the right of the tree on the left.

Venus is to the left and up from the tree on the right.

☮

Stay safe.

Sleepy Monday

Last night I didn't get to sleep as early as I'd like and was tired today.  I tried to get to bed early tonight, I told the family that I needed to get to bed and no more Star Trek for me tonight.  I wanted this written and posted by now.  Then I started getting messages.  Hopefully that is done and I can write and sleep soon.  

Today one of the employees I work with called in sick.  The day went fine, it is just that I was already a bit anxious about going to work.  When I see them next I may ask them to let us know that whatever has them feeling bad is not Covid.  At the same time, it isn’t necessarily my business.  Tight rope walking during the pandemic….

Enough gloom, let me try to come up with some happy things:

• As I said above, even though we were down a person, the day seemed to go mostly okay.

• I made it home from work without falling asleep on the way.

• The crescent moon and venus were bright in the sky this morning.  My picture will not do it justice.

• K and I had a nice walk allowing me my steps and us mother/daughter time.

☮

Stay safe.

Sunday the Thirteenth

 There was no walk today.  Instead I got my steps by shopping and mowing the lawn.  I went to five different stores and didn't find any rubbing alcohol.  Okay, three stores, I didn't expect Lowes or Harbor Freight to carry it. It is one of the things that I knew would be hard to find.  There is plenty of hand sanitizer in the stores though.  That is where all the alcohol is most likely going.  

Here is my list of things that made me happy today.

• This morning I was anxious because I had so many things to do on my list.  K looks at me and says, "Is rest on your list?"  "No," says I.  "Well it should be," responds K.  I laughed.  This small exchange of words is what I needed to relax and not feel anxious about my list.
• Z's sister got married today.  I didn't go because I needed to not be around people because of the pandemic and working.  They brought me home a piece of cinnamon cake, it is really good.
• Although neither fit me the way I want them to, I made two masks today and this is a good thing.
• K and I bruised up some rabbit tobacco today and it does indeed smell sweet and a little like maple.
• Having that piece of cake and I still seem to have come in under the Fitbit estimated calorie count today.  Yes, I had three meals, too.
• Today marks six years since C and I hiked up Mount Washington.  They brought up the memory on Facebook with all the pictures.  It was such an awesome trip.  We started up to the Lake in the Clouds Hut on Friday.  Not only was the sunset spectacular (it set between two layers of clouds), we got to see the northern lights.  On the thirteenth, we made it to the summit where there were lenticular clouds.  It was a tough climb, I wasn't in the best of shape.  It was worth it though.  
• At some point this evening I started getting massages from a group chat I am on.  They shared a link to a live reading of The Princess Bride done by most of the original cast.  I'm not sure if it will be replayed, but it was good.  It was done as a fund raiser.  There were some technical difficulties, but those actors are great.

I took this picture when I realized I had none for the blog yet.
I hadn't noticed, at the time, that it looks like there is a big circle over the house.

☮

Stay safe.